*This originally appeared on Buddyhead in June 2002
We were absolutely tickled pink when we happened to run into a member of The Strokes recently while at a local bar in town. It took a bit of prodding, but eventually he agreed on allowing us to interview him. He had obviously been at the bar for quite some time, so the honesty on matters concerning his band just oozed out of him. After we finished the interview, he continued to get more and more drunk. This guy knew how to party. The big night out on the town concluded with him passing out in the bathroom, forgetting his name and where he was. Rock N’ Roll!
Buddyhead – So tell us where your inspiration to start The Strokes came from?
The Strokes – Well… honestly… I just thought that instead of being just rich, it might be kind of fun to see if I could be rich and famous as well! And it worked out too! Cool huh?
Buddyhead – Sure, congratulations. What has the formula for success been for you guys?
The Strokes – Well obviously money. Our Daddies bought the best PR money could buy and got us into all the right fashion magazines before we’d really even played any shows. I mean, you don’t just get write ups in Rolling Stone when all you have is a demo tape. After that, the pockets of wannabe chic pseudo indie dickpigs here and there really got behind us. It kind of snowballed from there. We’re all still really stoked on the fact that good looking people like our band. I wouldn’t know what to do if ugly people liked us.
Buddyhead – Cool. How’s the rock star life so far?
The Strokes – It’s perfect. After we got 2 million dollars from the record company, we got to go on tour! I never knew going on tour was this easy! It’s great! You get to ride around in a bus and watch silly kids buy our t-shirts for 30 bucks. Brilliant! I always heard all these bands complaining about touring, but to me traveling on a plush bus is pretty natural for me, seeing as how I spent most of my childhood in a limo. You get used to being driven around.
Buddyhead – You mean you never toured before you signed to a major label?
The Strokes – No. How would you do that? I mean, I’ve heard strange stories about that. Something involving loading your own equipment, traveling in a van, etc., but what do we look like, savages?
Buddyhead – Oh right, right. So what’s next for the band?
The Strokes – We’re gonna keep playing clubs to maintain the hip cred we’ve meticulously fabricated. I mean, I guess we could start playing bigger venues, but who wants to watch a bunch of posers playing guitars nipple high stand in one place for an hour and a half in a big arena or something?
Buddyhead – Yeah, not to sound rude or anything, but what’s up with that? And what the fuck is up with the bass player sporting the real bad comb over? He’s always looking at his hands in the videos. Besides the fact he’s playing 2 notes, doesn’t he realize you guys aren’t really playing in the videos and just lip syncing and stuff and he doesn’t need to focus on his guitar neck?
The Strokes – To tell you the truth, we don’t even know what’s up with that guy. We try our hardest to keep that monster to the extreme side of the stage possible when we play live. After all, he isn’t nearly as good looking as the rest of us anyway. He’s a circus kid, his dad was the strong man, and his mother was the bearded lady.
Buddyhead – Weird. So… you were saying… you guys are going to maintain your fabricated fanbase…
The Strokes – Oh right, right… yeah, and we’re going to shoot another video soon. I really want to do the Velvet Underground song we have, but Albert is voting for the one that we wrote to sound like Television. Oh whatever, I guess it doesn’t matter what it sounds like anyway… it’s what clothes we wear in the video that really counts. Want a sip of my beer?
Buddyhead – No thanks… Would you say that your clothes make the band?
The Strokes – I didn’t pay $500 for this Donny Broskco leather jacket for nothing! You think this kind of cool comes natural? Hell No! It’s called high end designers who are old friends of your Dad’s.
Buddyhead – Oh right.
The Strokes – Yeah, and don’t think you’re good enough to ever wear my jacket!
Buddyhead – Ok. Well thanks for your time, what are you going to do now?
The Strokes – I dunno. I don’t feel so good. Those chili fries I had earlier are tearing me up inside. My asshole feels like it’s going to explode. I gotta go blow some mud!
Buddyhead – Ok dude. Hope everything comes out all right.